According to the National Funeral Directors Association’s annual Consumer Awareness and Preferences Study, 62.5% of consumers felt it was imperative to communicate their funeral plans and wishes to family members and friends, yet only 21.4% had done so.
Having a discussion with family members or friends about death and pre-planning is probably one of the hardest things we will ever do, but when the time comes, having everything arranged will make it much easier for our loved ones. If possible, these conversations should take place while we are still healthy so that we have time to think through the decisions we make.
There is no right or wrong way to have this conversation, and sometimes the hardest part is initiating it. One way to start the conversation might be to tell your loved ones that you have been thinking about your end-of-life wishes and would like to discuss them. If your family has a hard time with this conversation and does not want to talk about it, consider sitting down with a funeral director to help facilitate the conversation. Families might also want to consider attending one of the informal pre-planning funeral seminars held at local funeral homes and cemeteries.
Once you have had a discussion with your family and would like to formalize your end-of-life wishes, consider contacting a funeral director to pre-plan your funeral services. They will help plan your funeral and burial arrangements and make sure that when the time comes, the family will have peace in knowing that end-of-life wishes will be carried out and that all costs have been covered.
Whether you decide to pre-plan your funeral or not, considerations for end-of-life wishes should include: choosing between burial and cremation, the type of funeral or memorial service you would like to have, the church where your funeral service will be held, any songs or readings to be included in the service, the cemetery of interment, and details of a potential post-service celebration of life. You might also want to include additional instructions, such as a specific picture and/or information for your obituary, the clothes you would like to wear if a viewing takes place, and any other specifics. Your wishes can be minimal or very detailed. This is your opportunity to tell others how you would like to be remembered.
Having end-of-life wishes documented is important so your loved ones can refer to them when making arrangements. Recording specific wishes in a planning guide, on paper, or online will be invaluable in ensuring your wishes are met. St. Therese of Lisieux has prepared a funeral pre-planning folder that includes documentation reflecting your preferences. These folders will be available at the lecture and are already available in the Medical Emergency Supplies Alcove mounted on the wall in the Gathering Space or in the Parish Office.
Keeping important documents and keepsakes organized in a known location and up to date will help the person managing your affairs. If you feel comfortable, take the time to review this information with them so they have a better understanding of what they will need to know when the time comes.
On Tuesday, May 26, from 1 to 2 PM or 6:30 to 7:30 PM, St. Therese of Lisieux will host a pre-planning funeral arrangement seminar in the Social Hall presented by Resurrection Cemetery, Wasik Funeral Home, and Monsignor John. RSVP by May 25 to the Parish Secretary or Marilyn Cito, Parish Nurse, at 586-254-4433 or Marilync@stol.church.
References:
- https://www.thegardens.com/how-to-talk-about-funeral-planning-with-friends, The Garden of Boca Raton Cemetery and Funeral Home, How to Talk with Friends about Pre-planning Funerals, Marshall Jacobs, Estate Planning, April 5, 2019.
- www.aarp.org/home-family/friends-family/info-2020/planning-your-own-funeral.html, Help Your Family Plan Your Funeral Far in Advance, Lynda Clugston Webster, AARP, August 13, 2020.
- www.mtelliot.com/resurrection, The Benefits of Preplanning, 2022.
