Having a discussion with family members or friends about death is probably one of the hardest things we will ever do in our lifetimes, but, when the time comes, having everything pre-planned will make it much easier for our loved ones.
According to the Annual Consumer Awareness and Preferences Study by the National Funeral Director Association, 62.5% of consumers felt it was imperative to communicate their funeral plans and wishes to family members and friends, yet only 21.4% had done so.
Discussing end-of-life arrangements is emotionally challenging for both parties, but having these conversations sooner rather than later will leave everyone involved more comfortable about the future. If possible, these conversations should take place while we are still healthy, so there is time to think about the decisions being made.
There is no right or wrong way to have this conversation, and, sometimes, the hardest part is initiating it. One way to start the conversation might be to tell your loved ones you have been thinking about your end-of-life wishes and would like to discuss with them. If your family has a hard time with this conversation and does not want to talk about it, sitting down with a funeral director to help facilitate the conversation might be helpful. Families may also want to consider attending one of the informal pre-planning funeral seminars held at funeral homes and cemeteries in the community.
Once you have discussed with your family and think you would like to formalize your end-of-life wishes, you may want to contact a funeral director to pre-plan your funeral services. They will help plan your funeral and burial arrangements and make sure, when the time comes, your family will have peace in knowing that end-of-life wishes will be carried out and all costs have been covered.
Whether you decide to pre-plan your funeral or not, information for end-of-life wishes should include choices of: burial or cremation, which church and cemetery you would like your services held at, particular songs or readings, types of funeral or memorial services, and whether you want a celebration of your life after the service.
You might also want to include a specific picture and/or information for your obituary, clothes you would like to wear if being laid out, and any other specific instructions. Your wishes can be minimal or very detailed; this is your opportunity to tell others what you would like.
Having end-of-life wishes and keepsakes documented, organized, up-to-date, and in a known location is important so your loved ones can refer to them when making arrangements. St. Therese of Lisieux has prepared a funeral pre-planning folder, which includes documentation to state your preferences. These folders will be available at the lecture, but are always available in the Medical Emergency Supplies alcove in the Gathering Space or in the Parish Office.
On October 5, 2023, from 10:30 AM to 12:00 PM, St. Therese will host a Pre-Planning Funeral Arrangement seminar presented by Sullivan Funeral Home after the Rambling Roses meeting, which will end early. Feel free to bring a family member or friend. Because a light lunch will be served, please RSVP by Tuesday, October 3, 2023 to the Parish Secretary at 586-254-4433 or Marilyn Cito, Parish Nurse, at 254-4433 Ext. 320 or via email at Marilync@stol.church.
References:
https://www.thegardens.com/how-to-talk-about-funeral-planning-with-friends, The Garden of Boca Raton Cemetery and Funeral Home, How to Talk with Friends about Pre-planning Funerals, Marshall Jacobs, Estate Planning, April 5, 2019.
www.aarp.org/home-family/friends-family/info-2020/planning-your-own-funeral.html, Help Your Family Plan Your Funeral Far in Advance, Lynda Clugston Webster, AARP, August 13, 2020.
www.mtelliot.com/resurrection, The Benefits of Preplanning, 2022.