Do you know the song, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year,” by Andy Williams? Well, I wouldn’t be fibbing if I told you I broke out in song today, right here in my office, singing that very tune! I’m pretty sure, without saying, you’d know it wasn’t because I had a hankering for Christmas music at this time of year! Why did that song come to mind, then? It was because, currently, the Discipleship Formation offices at all of our parishes are a flurry of activity.
As any educators know, the beginning of an academic year brings all of the regular, weekly commitments, but also a barrage of extra meetings, time-consuming tasks to do, new names to learn, and more. Where parish formation classes differ, however, is in the fact that they are, almost always, “staffed” by volunteers! Recruiting volunteers to fill these positions adds a whole ripple in the works, but it can also be a source of joy. Often, we are able to meet and hear the stories of people who are new to us, or to learn more about those we already know. Over the years, I have learned that we don’t know enough about people’s stories, and we don’t usually make the time to get to know each other in that way. Catholics are fairly good at surface-level relationships with others in their faith communities, but it is rare for us to dig deeper. I’d love to see that change! Here, I’ll provide a few thoughts on how you can make those connections for yourself or someone else.
First of all, one of the brightest lights on the path to building deep and meaningful relationships is the new (for us Catholics, anyway) trend toward “small groups.” In these groups, you grow in the ability to share your hopes, struggles, joys, and anything in-between. These groups are often formed because folks have something in common. They may be experiencing grief, or they may simply be a part of the same ministry, like choir or the Knights of Columbus. The thing is, however, that just because the group is formed, doesn’t mean the participants are willing to become vulnerable and eager to share. The benefit of sharing deeply is the understanding that you aren’t alone; you begin to have a sense that others are with you on this bumpy path called life. There are others who you can hash over decisions with, and who’ll listen when you need to vent. Those friends are treasures.
Another place I see great value and encouragement emanating from is in any number of our listening ministries. Whether it is Sr. Mary Andrew and her team who visit the homebound, or those who serve in our funeral ministry (among others), their caring and helpful natures provide balm for weary souls. Again, in the connections that are made, people come to an awareness that they aren’t alone.
So, take an inventory of your relationships. Ask yourself: Are there people in my life that I feel comfortable sharing with besides a spouse or partner? Do I know someone in my life who is isolated, and whom I am willing to reach out to? Do I think a ministry of caring might be a good way to spend my time? Now, here’s the big one: Do I have people in my life with whom I can have a spiritual conversation? Can I be totally honest with them, or do I have to put on a façade of pseudo-holiness? If you don’t have that person, or those people, start at the surface and give it time. It’s okay! All forests start with a few little seeds.