The other day while on social media, I couldn’t help notice how many people post kind and compassionate responses, yet in “real” life, kindness doesn’t always seem so prevalent. Whether you are driving, standing in line for a cashier, or going through a door, kindness isn’t always displayed. I am always pleasantly surprised when I call a company and the clerk is kind and patient with me. But, when you think about it, why should I be surprised? Shouldn’t kindness be the norm?
You might say to me, “what about the passing it forward” initiatives like buying a cup of coffee for the person behind you at Starbucks? Although I think that is a kind gesture, kindness is more than an action or behavior. Kindness should be thought as a quality we can cultivate and become with intention. Kind people are typically generous and considerate and do not expect anything is return. Giving kindness is often simple and free and there are wonderful health benefits in return for being kind.
Physiologically, kindness can positively change your brain by boosting levels of serotonin and dopamine which produce feelings of satisfaction, well-being and pleasure. According to research from Emory University, when you are kind to another person, your brain reward centers light up, as if you were the recipient of the good deed—not the giver. This phenomenon is called the “helper’s high.”
Witnessing acts of kindness produces oxytocin, which aids in lowering blood pressure and cortisol which is a hormone directly related with stress levels, and improves overall heart-health. Endorphins, your body’s natural painkiller, may also be released when you show kindness.
Kindness has been shown to increase self-esteem, empathy and compassion, and improve mood and energy levels. People who give of themselves tend to be healthier and live longer.
Kindness can increase your sense of connectivity with others, decrease loneliness, combat low mood and improve relationships. It also can be contagious, encouraging others to join in with their own generous deeds.
And, don’t forget, this also means being kind to yourself! Think of the times we beat up on ourselves for something we did or didn’t do. Thinking negatively just promotes more negative thoughts in the brain. Make a concentrated effort to stop those negative thoughts by practicing mindfulness, praying, meditating, or breathing techniques.
Commit to yourself you are going to practice kindness each day. If this is something you know you need to work on, think of this as something to cultivate like planting seeds in your garden. Start small and do something each day. Maybe it is making a concentrated effort to say good morning to your coworkers each day or being helpful and patient when one of them needs help with something? Maybe it is doing something unsolicited for an elderly family member or neighbor? Smile at a stranger. Take a few minutes to think about how you might practice kindness with your family, church, community, coworkers, environment, and yourself! And, if you are a parent, what better life lesson than teaching your children to be compassionate and kind?
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