I come from a loud and boisterous family. Whether on Christmas Eve, with gatherings where the laughter and joyous noise grew so loud that the windows almost rattled, or times on the other end of the spectrum when, upon occasion, the neighbors must have heard the harsh words that betrayed our home’s beautiful façade, we were loud. Maybe our volume was higher, but I don’t think we were that different from most families today. As a matter of fact, Google’s AI tool tells us that “A vast majority of Americans (around 90%) argue in serious relationships, with about a third arguing weekly, another third monthly, and the rest yearly, often over communication, money, and household chores, though significant numbers also fight about politics, leading some to estrangement, while other studies show that around 60% of families report serious conflict with children.” Now, I get it. We can debate the accuracy of these numbers, but I’m betting there’s a fairly good possibility that you have witnessed or participated in an argument in the not-so-distant past. Angry voices and discord are far too common, but they aren’t what God wants for us.
In reality, our Christian faith calls us to treat each other with compassion and love, seeking peace in all that we do. If you remember, our Christmas Connecting Point focused on peace by encouraging us to experience it within ourselves, within our families, and through various forms of loving outreach. This week, we continue that theme as St. Paul, in our second reading (Colossians 3:12–21), urges us to live with “compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another, and forgiving one another” to “let the peace of Christ control [our] hearts.” These virtuous attitudes and ways of being might not arise in us spontaneously, but they can be cultivated. Like a muscle, the more we overtly choose to adopt them, the more they grow until they are part of who we are. Moreover, while serving as guiding principles for all of our personal interactions, the development of these virtues directly benefits our families, as well.
Specifically, on this Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, our first reading (from the third chapter of Sirach) calls us to honor our parents as a pathway to peace within our families. We also hear about Joseph in today’s Gospel (Matthew 2:13–15, 19–23) as he quietly leads his family in obedience to God, protecting them from harm. In looking at this reading (and all of the New Testament), it seems that Joseph was less of a speaker and more of a “doer.” In so many ways, the fact that we don’t hear much about him in scripture speaks volumes. Through Joseph, we learn that promoting peace in our homes and beyond sometimes requires making hard, selfless choices for the good of others, just as he did. As Joseph models virtue for us, we see that doing everything with a calm, humble heart allows the love that is given to resonate and reverberate, making it the focus.
Each and every day, we make choices in all of our human interactions. These choices allow us to shape our environments and choose how we want to live, how we want to impact others, and who we really want to be in this world (and in the next). So, we might ask ourselves: What am I doing to promote peace in my family?
