People often say the holiday season is “the most wonderful time of the year,” but if you have lost someone close to you, it can be challenging. Many of our parishioners have experienced a loss over the last couple of years and are likely still grieving. Since the holidays revolve around family and close friends, this is a difficult time for people who are grieving. Instead of happiness and joy, this season can magnify loss, sadness, and loneliness. Don’t ignore grief; accept it. Accept support from family and friends. Remembering your loved one and acknowledging their loss during the holiday season is part of the healing process as you go forward. There are several things you can do in memory of your loved one:
- Say a prayer before a holiday meal.
- Light a candle or request a Mass intention at St. Therese.
- Do an act of kindness or serve others.
- Start a new tradition.
- Volunteer at a nonprofit.
- Go out to dinner or a special event.
- Invite your family to visit and help decorate your loved one’s final resting place.
- Consider giving your close family members a present. I created a book of my mom’s favorite recipes (with pictures) and gave it to my family.
Dealing with loss takes considerable physical and emotional energy. Focus on spiritual, religious, personal, and comforting traditions, rather than energy-draining activities (like entertaining and shopping). Pace yourself and do not overextend yourself. Do self-care activities you enjoy, and set aside quiet time to reflect. Give yourself permission to grieve and avoid thoughts that make you feel guilty. Reach out to your support system; often, they want to help but don’t know how. Guide them on what would make you feel better. Remember that the way you feel this year is not forever. Grief takes time and is unique to each individual. Although we will always miss our loved ones, we will eventually go on with our lives and feel joy again.
On Sunday, November 22, from 1 to 3 PM, the St. Therese of Lisieux Health Ministry will sponsor its Hope for the Holidays grief workshop to help you navigate the holidays if you have experienced a loss. Heidi Boccomino, LMSW and Health Ministry member, will present a lecture and informal discussion on strategies to help you get through the holidays. Please RSVP to the Parish Office or Marilyn Cito, Parish Nurse, at 586-254-4433 or Marilync@stol.church.
The St. Therese of Lisieux Grief Support group will also restart its nine-week series in January after the holidays. Sessions will be held on Tuesdays from 1 to 2:30 PM. Check future church bulletins for the start date (TBD).
References:
- Why the Holidays Are Not Always Jolly, Harold W.Vicks Funeral Home.
- Handling Holidays and Anniversaries, Dr. Marilyn K. Gilbert.
