How often do I forgive? For some of us, it may seem like we are always forgiving those who have hurt us. It may even feel as if people are using us as doormats. But, this is not what Jesus tells us to do. He is not saying to let people use and abuse you. Rather, he is telling us to be generous with our forgiveness and not be afraid to forgive multiple times. However, there are limits.
We need to learn from our mistakes and our sinful ways. The definition of insanity (or stupidity) is ‘doing the same thing incorrectly over and over again and expecting a different result.’ If we are forgiving someone for the same sin, and they are refusing to change or own up to their mistake, who is being foolish? A basic premise contained within forgiveness of another is that there is some expectation of change.
Furthermore, in the parable of today’s Gospel, the first servant, who had been forgiven a huge amount, should have been more forgiving of the one who owed a lesser amount to him. Inherent in the act of being forgiven is the challenge that the one who has been forgiven is himself/herself more merciful to others because he/she has been shown mercy. In addition, once you have been forgiven of a particular sin, it should not be repeated. If you have wronged a family member, you should never betray them again.
Yes, we need to be generous with our forgiveness of others because we want others to forgive us, as well. However, never take advantage of the forgiveness you’ve been given or presume you can repeat the sin or transgression repeatedly without consequence. Strive to be like the Lord, who is slow to anger and rich in compassion.
Have a great week,
Msgr. John